rules of the cave
by misswinterandsnow
Summary: leaving a bunch of teenage hero's alone with little supervision is a bad idea. so they have to make some rules. minor birdflash turned to every ship ever. probable should have a higher rating for some chapters...
1. Chapter 1

the things under the rules are what they sidekicks wrote after the rule was posted. the rules are written by a members of league mostly superman and man-hunter ,not batman. if batman wants them to stop doing something they will stop doing it. this is before rocket and are added on over time with that being said me brokie no ownie on with the fan-fic

* * *

\- **1) do not say you work in the** **bat cave. you do not work in the bat cave.**

zatanna. I didn't say I work into the bat cave, I just hinted at it

robin. I do work in the bat cave

 **2) boys are not aloud in the girls locker room**

wally. I swear I was just looking for a towel. there wasn't even anyone in there

robin. not for lack of trying

wally. shut up

 **3) GIRLS are not aloud in the BOYS locker room**

Artemis. I am surrendered by boys with six packs I must know

wally. what did you think?

Artemis. short

Megan. you knew everyone can see this, right

 **4)no girls in a boys room and no boys in a girls room**

robin. fine with me

wally. seem fair

superboy. why

aqualad. we will tell you when you are older

 **5)we have given fake ID's to fight crime, not to go clubbing. if you use the like that we will take the away.**

zatanna. this isn't fair.

 **6) do not play "see what kid flash will eat if you put it in a cookie"**

wally. is that you keep giving me cookies!

superboy. you ate one that was just wet flour and paper clips

 **7) don't ride wolf.**

superboy. yeah. robin

robin. you would too if you were small enough.

* **8) . . .SUGAR.**

robin. I wonder what they strike out

 **9)due to recent realization, no one of any gender is aloud in other's room after 7 pm**

wally. HEY

robin. COME ON

Artemis. gee how long did it take you

aqualad. it was rather see-able

 **10) do not tell the tourist that batman is chuck Norris**

robin. who was telling them his secret identity?

 **11)do not give superboy "the talk" unless it is biologically correct.**

superboy. wait how do human reproduces?

wally. they eat a large amount of Chinese food and split in two.

Artemis. that's just you

 **12) do not run away screaming from sphere in front of the tourist.**

robin. great now I have to be creative.

 **13) ROBIN IS NOT AROUND IN,NEAR OR BESIDE ANY ROOM WITH TOURIST IN IT!**

superboy. that was fast

 **14) I should not have to say this the pool is meant to be water. not jello**

aqualad. thank you

robin. it would have been ok if wally ate it

wally. dude. pool water. deadly

Artemis. you ate a cookie made of with glue instead of eggs

wally. WHAT!

Megan. I was out and I thought you wouldn't mind

* * *

* they got rid of the word cross out thingies

this is based of a x-men evolution fan-ficion "what not to do a Xavier" if you have seen half of one episode go read you haven't go watch and episode and the read it. I don't update much so more will come out when i care to.


	2. Chapter 2

**15) Prank wars are not a good reason to use magic against your teammates**

zayanna: if everyone else can use their power so can I

 **16) leave your feet In front of your head**

robin: if I like to keep my feet in my hair then you can't tell me not to

wally: you're crazy

robin : you're jealous

 **17) a 'battle to the knockout ' is not a good way to find out who gets the last cookie**

Aqua lad: it is not wise to get between kid flash and his food

robin: learned that the hard way

wally: you were only in a cast for two weeks

 **18) don't hacked the pentagon**

robin: you can prove nothing

 **19) if you don't have a driver licence you can't fly the bioship**

Megan: it's my ship

wally: I could pass the test if I wanted to

superboy: does anyone in the cave have a licence

Artemis: does anyone have a car

 **20) ignore rule 19**

megan: thank you!

 **21) the living room is common area. play your music in your own room**

wally: but that's where the good speaker's are

megan: It's is a good way to learn about earth culture

artemis: DO NOT FOR A MOMENT THINK THAT SHAKE IT OFF IS EARTH CULTURE THEN YOU NEED TO HEAR SOME REAL MUSIC NOW!

wally: what so bad about shake it off

artemis: . .

 **22) stop miss using the transporter to harass black cannery**

aqualad: with respect why would you think that it would be a member of the team.

wally: I like being alive

superboy: you get she can kick every ass in this cave right.


	3. Chapter 3

**23) using feminine hygiene product to shock your opponent in battle was never ok.**

zatanna. wait who has been stealing my tampons

robin. I SWEAR IT WAS WALLY'S IDEA. PLEASE KILL HIM

wally. DON'T YOU DARE BLAME THIS ON ME. YOU SAID WE WOULDN'T GET CAUGHT

zatanna. you will so regret this

 **24) you are all under-aged their should be no booze in the cave.**

artemis. sorry I thought I drunk all that. give me a minute

aqualad. I do not think it will do much to tell them to stop

artemis. HoLeY mAAAAAAAAANNN HoWOwww Do thUS WUrk

megann. I get the bioship ready.

superman. why are you leaving?

wally. artemis. hungover. dude she drank like a bottle and a half of vodka

 **25) we can see you internet history. their is now a banned sit list.**

megann. it for research reasons

artemis. what are you talking about you can still get on those sites

robin. you welcome

 **26) If you are going to miss-use you powers could you at least do it inside the cave where tourist can't see you**

robin. no powers! loop hole

artemis. yeah!

 **27) you have every kind of entertainment on the planet , stop re watching the same three Disney movie.**

superboy. what wrong with disney?

aqualad. I think it's more that we don't watch anything else.

robin. we can add tangled

artemis. yeah that will work

ok so I know that I really should write more but, hey some better then non

by the way the movies they watch on repeat

1) wreck it Ralf

2) who framed roger rabbit

3) Atlantis


	4. Chapter 4

***28) do not change the names from the zeta-tubes**

wally. kid idiot is the dumbest insult you could come up with?

artemis. nope I stole it from robin

robin. hey just because you can't make fun of kid flash this time doesn't me you should pick on me

 **29) do not measure each other genitals. ever.**

superboy. wally and robin get to know, why can't I

meggan . wait is that why everyone's been calling you mr. 7

artemis. sorry I need to see this

 **30) please stop letting tourist's into the cave.**

wally. to be fair she was really, really hot

 **31) do not show up to random kid's birthday parties.**

meggan. you should have see the look on her face, she was so happy.

aqualad. is this because superboy broke the table or because wall ate all the cake

superboy. they called me superman

wally. hey

 **32)clean up the paint from paint ball fights**

artemis. I found some in my cereal last week

robin. eh you guys where getting boring to beat anyway

 **33) knock.**

meggan. I knock

wally. yeah. conner

 **34) stop calling batman " the god of tight black leather"**

robin. he doesn't mind

artemis. it fits doesn't it

 **35) do not make sacrifices to batman.**

zatanna. I think it might help with his mode

superboy. it works doesn't it

robin. batman doesn't have a problem with it

 **36) password is not a ok password**

superboy. it work before you said it

red arrow. no it didn't

wally. wait why is this the first time you written on this

red arrow. because it is dumb

* * *

*this rule was written by a snowtiger21 because she/he are awesome p.s hallo Vielen Dank für die Überprüfung Ich hoffe es's einfacher zu lesen wie dieses

ok so two update in one week! I know right. don't get used to it. please tell me if you think I going into a bad angle with this.


	5. Chapter 5

**34) do not use the super computer to solve your math homework**

artemis. come on, we are aloud to use computers

superboy. that's just for math

 **35) wonder women will not make you a citizen of her country**

zatanna . please I am so done with boys

wonder women. no

 **36) no going to aqualad and asking for sushi**

wally. I was really asking him if he would pick of the sushi

robin. yeah we were going to show megan the ways of the weaboo

megan. thank for that. I really loved fruit basket

 **37) don't show Conner animal** **planet. It is a bad** **influence**

robin. do you know how much it cost to re-build the cave?

, but I'm sure Bruce Wayne does

 **38) no spray-painting red tornado**

zatanna. he looks good as a blonde

 **39) do not take you teammates weapon to see how long it takes them to notice**

artemis. they learn there lesson. believe me

 **40) stop changing the passwords to password**

superboy. hey it works doesn't it.

 **41) your favorite show getting cancel is not a reason to skip training**

robin. BUT IT WAS SO GOOD

wally. WE NEED TO GET THE SHOW BACK

 **42) don't use your powers to get a show back on air**

robin. we won't have

 **43) changing the name of "of see what kid flash will eat if you put in a cookie" to "death by cookies doesn't make it ok to play**

wally. DUDE ARE YOU STILL DOING THAT!

zatanna. DUDE are you still eating them

* * *

SOMEONE MAKE RULE 39 A FULL ON SPITFIRE SHIP WHERE ARTEMIS ALMOST DIES AND WALLY WAITS BY HER SIDE AS SHE WAKE UP TO ALMOST KILL HIM BUT SHE DOESN'T BECAUSE SHE SEE THAT HE IS REALLY SORRY

(or like replace wally with whoever)


	6. Chapter 6

**44) stop playing with the zeta-tubes**

Artemis: I told you I would send you china

wally: I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD REALLY DO IT

 **45) all grudges as dropped as soon as a mission start's**

superboy: HE KEEPS RIDING WOLF

robin: YOU LEFT ME WITH THE JOKER

 **46) it being "that time of the month" is not a valid excuse**

superboy: but Artemis was aloud to use it

Aqualad: she is a girl

superboy: what does that have to do with it

robin: we will tell you when your older

 **47)secret identities are meant to be told to someone you trust. not sold to the highest bidder**

zatanna. robin gave 1500$. do you know how much that is!

robin. YOUR CODE NAME IS SUPPOSED DIFFERENT!

 **48)someone please tell superboy the facts of life**

robin:you do it

 **49)stop sending each other fanfic/pictures of yourself**

wally: come on, everyone is "shipping" megally

maggan: aw you sweet

robin: I honestly thought Artemis would want to see that genderbend

artemis: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT WAS GENDERBEND

 **50)stop using moves form TV in real fights. you will die.**

wally: believe me I learned.

line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line-line

well that I got

REBECCA NOW THAT YOU FOLLOW THIS STORY WILL YOU STOP READING IT BEFORE I FINISH THE CHAPTER

sorry I needed to get that out, inside joke

reviews for a cookie


	7. Chapter 7

51) **you must get the league permission before adding new members to the team**

taiga: does this mean I am not a member

 **52) of the love of god stop trying to find out what the jokers into**

robin. I never knew the amazing uses for live birds

wally. believe me I learned my lesson

 **53) if your teammate needs help in a fight, don't make popcorn**

robin. but it taste so much better then

 **54)I give up. just use protection ok?**

wally. YES NO ONE COME IN MY ROOM FOR THE NEXT COUPLE HOURS

robin. well if you don't want anyone in there

wally. NO YOU CAN COME IN

superboy. what are they talking about?

meg'gan. well... I could show you

zatanna. YOU ART EVERYBODY IS GETTING LAID, YOU IN

artemis. let me get something from my house first

superman. this is why we have rules

 **55)you have a limit of five pets for the cave**

wally. but superboy is hogging them all

superboy. how am I suppose to get rid of all of them?

meg'gan. how many do you have

superboy. ... a lot

 **56)stop giving out league members personal emails.**

wally. dude bro code, she was so close to giving me her number

Artemis. wait aren't you are robin together?

robin. no we are just Friends with benefits

* * *

vote in the review section how should her name be spelled

megan

meggan

meg'gan

meg'an

me'gan

vote now because I have no idea and it is probably annoying someone


	8. Chapter 8

**57)don't make your own YouTube show**

robin. but we got like 50,000 views

m'gann. I think that's why were aren't to make it anymore

wally. "why superman is a jack ass" need to exist dammit

 **58)stop sending any non-human members of the league or the team alien by your favorite martian**

wally. m'gann is a rap artist?

superboy. STOP SENDING ME THAT DAMM VIDEO!

 **59)don't lock two people with grudge in a room until they get along, they will stave to death**

superboy. he will before me

wally. I WON'T PLAY THE SONG AGAIN, I WON'T PLAY THE SONG!

 **60)you can't ground each other, even if you are team leader**

aqua lad. have you meet these people, what am I to do?

Artemis.I think we broke him

aqua lad. WHO USES GUMMY BEAR AS WEAPONS!

robin. you mean besides me?

 **61)don't make the cave into a haunted house**

zatanna. it was for charity.

so the winner of how to spell our favorite martians is...

m'gann

which wasn't even a option, ok

so next question, should I change that rating to rated m

I started writing this when I was 14, so it shouldn't be something that most teens don't know about. then again, I did pretty much have every member screw each other, so


	9. Chapter 9

ok so I have stopped caring if I do the same rule twice, it is get really annoying to check, so if do do that please read the first part of this sentence

 **62) stop speaking in an English accent,**

zatanna. I think it rather help hid the old identity, don't you

superboy. that isn't even slightly British

zatanna. IT'S HARD TO WRITE ACCENTS OK

 **63)you don't get paid, stop asking**

artemis. If training is mandatory, I SHOULD GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT!

robin. you do,you don't die

superboy. if you want to her to kick some ass, just get a bottle of rum

 **64)we eat fish in Atlantis**

robin. NO, ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SO MANY PRANKS WASTED!

 **65)when you are called for a mission, there are no excuses**

robin. I have to go to school, there are only so many excuses I can give

m'gann. don't say you have to fight aliens

robin. just being honest

 **66)someone take superboy clothes shopping**

robin. how can you only have one shirt?

superboy. why wouldn't I?

* * *

t-t-t-t-t-t-that all folks


	10. Chapter 10

**67)don't beat up the kids who bullies you in costume, tell an adult**

wally. were not kids, we already knew that

robin. batman didn't seem to have a problem with it

 **68) if you are not going to stop shipping fanfic with members of the league, please stop sending to us.**

wonder women. actually, if you could keep sending me the ones with super bat, that would be great.

superman. stop reading those, it not nice.

the cool green lantern. no, they are the funnest thing on the planet

green lantern Stewart. did you just call yourself the cool green lantern?

wally. you realize we don't write those, they are from the internet

flash. what site can I get them from

wally.

 **70) Iam liike 500000432345 times more powerfully than batsy, y do yoou like her more**

artemis. are you drunk?

m'gann. is this a rules?

robin. DID YOU SAY HER!

 **71) don't get wasted and write new rules, ok boyscout**

superman. shut up

* * *

wow I sure have been busy this week, two new stories and an update. don't get use to it. please to dear god don't get use to it


	11. Chapter 11

**72) if you think something is a good idea, don't do it**

zatanna. I thought crime fighting was a good idea, geuss I better stop that

robin. training was a good idea. DOBY IS FREE!

wally. I DID TOO!

 **73)don't mess with the carolers**

artemis. WHAT KIND OF CARORS SING SHAKE IT OFF

robin. the ones in the hospital

 **74) don't use emoji in official league documents**

robin. why would I :)

ma'gann: I thought it was a part of human communication!

 **75) stop giving point values to taking down different villain. each member of the team is value equally**

zatanna: are you just saying that because we gave lex Luther a four

robin: I am five foot two, I'm twelve, I don't have powers, that fact I have more points is all I have got!

superboy. it's just because you have been doing this longer

robin. MY MATH SAYS OTHER WISE!

(linelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelineline)

I updated! I know right! REBECCA PROOF READ MY FREAKING STORY OR I WILL NEVER UPDATE THIS THING EVERY AGAIN!

I have the power


	12. Chapter 12

**76) don't use blackmail against you team**

zatanna. which one of you talked

 **77)stop daring each other to wear heels in combat**

robin. did you go whining to the flash because you couldn't do it

wally. did not!

flash. he really didn't

wonder women. what's the big deal anyway?

 **78) we added rocket, you will treat her as a member of the team**

do you mean by that?

superman. you gave her wally cookies

 **79) icon is not "your whipping bitch".**

rocket. he got into the league, just because he was older. even though I WAS THE ONE WHO GOT HIM INTO THIS! he will do whatever I say.

 **80)while the league has no problem with the LGBT community, changing of genders will no longer be allow do to miss-use.**

Artemis. the line in the girls room was super long!

* * *

rocket is now a thing because she isn't used very often in fan fiction or the show, and I kind of like her. Rebecca prove read my story so we are back to updates.

I write this thing like it is all being read in one go because that's how I write fan for the record, speedy has been around for awhile but feels to mature to write on the thing. we will never reach season two. ever.

side note. I know that I am required to ask you to review the story. but if you are lazy like me, just write cookie and hit send if you read this notes.


	13. Chapter 13

**81) do not frame people for felonies because you are mad at them**

artemis. he actually did commit a crime

zatanna. not the one you framed him for

 **82)do not turn each other into chickens**

wally. no, it's my fault, I lost the bet.

 **83)you are one of the few defenses between super villains and the world, you should know not to do this things**

aqualad. what are you referring to

robin. everything, the thing with the waterguns

 **84)we are not going to install a fire pole.**

me'gann. that sounds like a good idea

superboy. is there any reason why not?

 **85)don't take wolf to the dog park**

superboy. he likes it there,plenty to eat.

 **-** ynu6rtgfaeyhujigrvfedzhfjg7mutyrbf

ok, guest (you made me write a new chapter just to clear this up). yeah, I mess up. I did not think about robin being 12 when I started writing orgies. please note that I don't think twelve year old should do that, but I real lazy so I am not going to edit anything.


	14. Chapter 14

so, I kind of realize that because rocket got only like 30 seconds of screen time, and the fact no one writes her means that I can do whatever I want with her character...

9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-99-9-9-9-99-9-9-9-99-9-9-

rules for rocket

 **86) do not tell members of the justice league that they must be "b*tch slap across the face 39 times while walking on broken glass" to make up for the sin of getting into the justice league before you.**

rocket. I told him not to mess with me, he had to mess with me

icon. was I supposed to turn down the option

rocket. I still have the glass

 **87)do not challenge anyone to duels**

robin. it seemed like a simple enough way to solve things

 **88) do not give out superman's phone number to anyone who ask**

superboy. that was the only way I could get it

wally. yeah, that's kind of a dick move there

 **89) do not hold raffles about which members of the league will sleep with each other**

superman. I am not sleeping with batman, stop wasting your money

green arrow. hey, let the kids be, I earned a lot of cash with black cannery

wonder woman. I kind of only sleep with flash for the cash

flash. hey!

 **90) do not make a profit from the raffles held about with members of the league will sleep with each othe** r

rocket. I put my time into this I expect to get something

 **91) to not steal costumes from teammates to sell on ebay**

artemis. I have got bills to pay and everybody else is rich.

kid flash. wait we can do that?

robin. do you really want to sell someone your old use spandex suit

artemis. they pay you like over a thousand bucks

kid flash. send me the site


	15. last chapter

92) **you are not allow to play with dog whistles.**

superboy. thanks, wolf was getting annoyed

wally. doesn't it annoy you?

superboy. not really, you can just tune it out

wally. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I SPENT LIKE TWENTY BUCK ON THAT WHISTLE

superboy. I'm sorry your plans to annoy me didn't work

93) **you may not sell pictures of yourself making out with each other online. you are minors.**

rocket. shit, I forgot about that

artemis. we were just kissing, and besides we are taking money from perverts

robin. that's still super illegal, they can track your ip address, you can get in some serious trouble for that. go remove them from the website right now, I'll hid you from online tracking, well

artemis. what do you want?

robin. ten percent of all profits you made

rocket. why do you care? aren't you rich?

robin. I don't just get unlimited money,I have an allowance, now pay up

94) **you can not have your own twitter account for young justice.**

zatanna. #comeonman

m'gann. #I #think #it's #a #good #team #building #exercise. did I do it right? :):):P:)

robin. you have much to learn my child

kalder. this is a team for covert mission

95) **you can not move into the cave just because you had a spat with your parents.**

m'gann. yes he can.

superboy. his saying here.

superman. this is not a homeless shelter.

kalder. you do not know of what you speak, please rest assure we are doing well.

flash. who made this rule?

 **96) for the love of god, don't teach superboy about sex using porn.**

m'gann. what's wrong with that? that were I learn about earthling sex.

wally. hey beautiful, you sure you don't want to go on that date?

m'gann. wally, I'm dating superboy remember, but I guess we could have a threesome...

superman. THIS IS NOT A WHOREHOUSE, WHY DO YOU FUCK LIKE BUNNIES?

wally. did we break him?

superman. ALL YOU WATCH ARE DISNEY MOVIES AND PORN

wally. we broke him?

 **97)don't blackmail superman into teaching superboy about sex by threatening to show him gay incest porn. you have help save the planet, why must I tell you this?**

had to do something.

superman. I SWEAR I WILL DISBAND THIS WHOLE FREAKING TEAM

wonder woman. grab popcorn, it might take him a while

 **98) you can't just walk wolf around happy harbor.**

captain

kalder. how did you not know that?

 **99)you must remain fully dressed at all times when at the cave.**

m'gann. I'm sorry, it's just normally no one is here but me and Conner, and well, sometimes I just forget to put them back on

rocket. I don't think anyone's complaining, is anyone?

wally. nope

zatanna. I'm good

red arrow. is modesty anything to you people?

artemis. ok, listen up you (censored) (censored) , you have done nothing but (censored) for the whole god-(censored) time you have been in this (censored) cave. you whine and (censored) and moan, but all you do for the team is make everyone's life a living (censored). you are a (censored), you are not better then anyone else you (censored) god-(censored) piece of (censored) (censored). go (censored) die in (censored) (censored) you (censored).

artemis. WHO CENSORED ME YOU LITTLE (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored ) (censored) (censored) AND (censored) YOURSELF WITH IT!

artemis. I WILL KILL YOU!

 **100) no. just stop, ok. if it sound at all fun, don't do it. if it sound like a bad idea, don't do it. if it sounds like a good idea, don't do it. just sit in the corner and wait to be told something to do. no. just no.**

robin. ... we broke him

zatanna. anyone want to play monopoly.

m'gann. I'll get the paintball guns and cookies!

kalder. please remain from adding anything that could kill someone in it, I don't want a repeat of the thumbtacks.

wally. they were good cookies, just maybe use chocolate chips instead.

artemis. I'm sure the er nurse had seen worse

superboy. her face said otherwise

rocket. someday, you guys have got to tell me this stories

so, all good things must come to an , I don't think anyone thought I was going to update again anyway. so, I made a fan fiction a while back making fun of oc for x-men, anybody want a young justice version?


End file.
